August 09, 2012

ready player one

I don't usually put a lot of stock in horoscopes
and yet I still read them from time to time.

And find that they strike a chord.

Logic tells me that we choose to see a connection where there really isn't one
because we are seeking a little guidance on how to get through life and the believe in the idea that there is some "thing" out there greater than ourselves that is all seeing or watching over us and helping us along the way.

I don't believe in the thing - but horoscopes, for me, are sometimes a little voice in your ear, telling you the truth, and it's a truth you've suspected for awhile, so you listen - and take note.

So here's what my horoscope had to say to me the other day:

"Think about how you can use your time and your energy in more productive ways. 
The main problem, of course, is that you have been drifting along without a goal in mind. 
What is it you want to achieve?"  
Globe and Mail

What indeed? This is absolutely true.

Drifting? Check.
No goal? Check check.
What do I want to achieve?


That gives me pause.

I have never been very good at setting a goal and sticking to it.
My dreaminess is minimal. I don't sit and think about what ifs for lengths of time.
I am, to be honest, often short-sighted. I don't think long term. I think about here and now.

I am addicted to instant gratification.
But here's the rub with instant gratification.

It often isn't in your best interest.
And you do end up expending time, funds and energy on things that don't fit into the big picture
because frankly, there is no big picture.

I'm not much of a leader. I follow others. I always have.
No one wants to be a follower, but someone has to be one.
I like to think that I absorb ideas of others and put my own twist on things.

Anyway -
maybe it's because I'm not using my own inspiration that I often fail.
I don't know.

I often feel like I am not an active participant in my own life.
That I just get through the days and try to stay positive.

But that's not enough anymore.
It's time to choose a goal.
And make it so.

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