January 19, 2012

What I Have Learned from 2012 (thus far)

A flash of a memory came to me yesterday.
I remembered having a conversation with my chiropractor once
and he said something along the lines of -
"when you're trying to make changes in your life, you can only do one thing at a time.
So if you're trying to exercise more, focus on that.
If you're trying to eat better, focus on that.
If you try to do both, you're sunk."

A wise guy, my chiropractor.
Without him, I doubt I would be upright.
I remembered this yesterday because last week and this week have been a little...
overwhelming.

It's classic "New Year's Resolution Panic Mode".
You set yourself up for all these massive changes and then freeze because the thought of trying to do all of them is completely overwhelming
and it gets hard to do anything at all.
You become so self-critical that all you see are the failings, not the little victories.

I started thinking about the resolutions that I made.
That they are all connected and their main purpose is this
"to make me feel good. Or at least, better."
And that because they are connected, I have to do all of them.

But I don't feel better.
I feel anxious
and disappointed.

So - it's time to take a breath
and choose
and perhaps take a snapshot of reality

Here's the reality:
It's January 19th.
It's not December 31st.
It's far from over.
It's barely started.

Here are some more truths:

On Monday, I did a workout and I went out on my lunch break. (Goal #4)
On Tuesday, I painted my nails (and went out at lunch) (Goals #1 & 4 and kind of even #3)
Today, it's snowing. Hard. So after work, I'm going to go for a long walk before my choir rehearsal. I have time. I also have sufficient clothes for bundling. (Goal #4 but definately not #3!)

So where's the flaw?
It's in my brain.
It's being so, so hard on myself
that really, it's sabotage.

So I have to stop.
It's a start - where I am - and that's ok - because it's still the start of the year.
There's no need to panic because drastic changes aren't visible. I just have to keep making choices every day. And try to make them good ones. And remember what my chiropractor says -because I want to feel good. And I want to be successful.

It just goes to show - sometimes you have to take it all apart
to put it back together again.

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